This blog is maintained and operated by me, “Jack Melrose.”
My real name is Nick Fisher. The pen name exists because it holds significance for me, and because I want it to.
I left high school with two friends, zero romantic relationship experience, and a desire to play baseball professionally. After my senior year of high school, I decided I was sick and tired of having no friends, having no romantic relationship experiences, and so many people thinking I wasn’t good enough at baseball.
For quite awhile, I had a high strung, high maintenance personality. Until my junior year, I am convinced I had no idea what was going on. I tried everything I heard was a good idea, even if it came from someone who had no idea was success really was. People who weren’t happy gave me happiness advice, and I ate it up. I believed almost everything I read. I listened to other players and coaches who had no business telling me how to be a better player, and I wasn’t thinking for myself.
My sophomore year was a depressing year. I remember liking a girl who was a senior, and she liked me back. Then, I blew it. I blew it because I didn’t believe in myself.
I remember playing well on the baseball field, until I had two bad games against two very good pitchers, one of which was drafted in the tenth round that year. I was benched for that.
I remember not having very many friends. The few friends I had would bring me down, and say things to deliberately hurt my self esteem. I had almost no friends on my baseball team, and I was lonely in more ways than one.
At one point, I snuck onto our football field in college at 2 A.M., and threw a baseball bat that I had back and forth across the length of it. I had pockets of success, but nothing sustainable. I was just stumbling around in the dark, lost. I felt like everything I wanted I couldn’t have. I felt like I was trying to climb Everest in a tank top.
I had zero control over my life. That would be the last time.
I spent the following summer figuring out who I wanted to be. I started keeping a journal, and thinking very hard about the world. I tried to notice what made men attractive to women, I tried to notice what made some players better than others. I noticed what made me a better hitter, both mentally and physically. I focused on making friends, and being a better teammate.
The following spring, I was friends with all of my teammates. Some women were finally attracted to me, and I had my first adult relationship that lasted for about two years. Our team chemistry flew off the charts. I started every game, and our team won the National Championship. That summer, I played in the West Coast League, a competitive summer collegiate baseball league, and was named to the All-Star team. My senior year, I received many more accolades, the proudest of which was being elected a team captain by my teammates, who were now my friends, and who respected me.
Eventually, I played some professional baseball, and played baseball in Australia for one winter. Baseball and I had a very long and passionate relationship–but eventually, it started to feel too much like a job. The dream died in me, and I decided to pursue other areas of life.
As of this writing, I’m currently attending UT Austin as an aerospace engineering master’s student. I live with my girlfriend, who is wonderful, and who I love. We have a golden retriever, and an overpriced one bedroom apartment. I am happy, but there is still much I want to do. There is still much I want to achieve, much I want to learn, many places I want to go. But now, I know I can do anything that I set my mind to.
That goes the same for you. And don’t ever let someone tell you otherwise.